You say it's your birthday...it's MY birthday, too! YEAH

 

Today is my 38th Birthday!

 

 

I am one of the weirdos out there who LOVES birthdays no matter how old I will be (so far)!  I tell myself that I am getting better with age.  I remember how SUPER EXCITED I always got as my birthday approached.  I would actually feel excited the whole month.  I can still faintly feel the butterflies when I try really hard to remember how the anticipation felt and what it was like to actually be giddy with excitement.  Now, I'm a mom and the birthdays aren't so much about me anymore; they are about my kids. And I really love that!  It is actually MORE exciting to try to make my kids' birthdays as special as my parents made mine for me.  This year, I realized that I may have gone a bit too far...starting last week my kids began the hype.  The birthday countdown, how old will I be, what did I want to do, who would we invite...and on and on.  When I told them that I was taking the day off for my birthday, their eyes lit up!  "Do you want to have your birthday at McWane Center or the Zoo?", they shouted.  I can totally see them envisioning my birthday party at the zoo...balloons, my friends with presents, the birthday cake, tokens for the carousel.  It is really funny to think about it that way...seriously, put yourself in the place of your child at their last birthday party.  I think that's what they had in mind for me!  Sweet things!

 

Well, zoo it was, but before we had the perfect birthday according to the kiddos, I had a few hours on my own this morning.  My usual would have been a mani/pedi or some sort of spa treatment, but it just wasn't in the cards this year, so I kept the sentiment and spent time on me...alone...at home.  And it just so happens that I have been doing a lot of soul searching and reading lately and came across an exercise that I was determined to try.  So here it is:

 

Write down 10 things that you like about your physical appearance.  Write down 10 things that you like about you as a person.  Seems pretty easy, huh?  Well, try it!  WOW!  I can think of 30 things I like about anyone else...but to come up with things about  me.  I felt somehow conceited or that I was committing some major act of hubris.  How did we as women, or people for that matter, get from having a healthy self image to feeling bad about liking ourselves?  I have to say, it took me A LONG TIME to start my lists.  I started with the physical appearance one.  I was stumped.  I mean really...just one of my feet has somewhere around 206 bones, I have two of those, many facial features, 20 fingers and 20 toes, organs, etc. and I can't like 10 things...I can't find a place to start.  Really?  What is wrong with me?  So I said, "Sarah, I know you.  I know it is hard to look at yourself like this.  But, you are going to do it because it is a great way to celebrate 38 years of life...and because I said so!"

 

So here goes...

Physical List:

1.  I like my blue eyes. 

2.  I like my hair.  The color, that I can wear it straight or curly, and that I don't have very many greys yet.

3.  I like that I am tall.

4.  I like that I am thin.  I am SO very fortunate that I was born this way.  I know someday I will have to worry about this, but at this time, I am so very grateful that I have a high metabolism.

5.  I like that I have long legs.

6.  I like that I have long fingers like a pianist.

7.  I like my feet.

8.  I think I am attractive. (That is a hard one to say/type for all the world to see!  Why does it feel so bad to say that I think I am pretty?)

9.  I like my frame. 

10.  I like that after 3 kids I still have an attractive body.

 

Personality List:

1.  I like that I am extremely empathetic.

2.  I like that I am funny. (Please don't tell me if you think I am not)

3.  I am kind.

4.  I am creative.

5.  I am a good writer.  (Again, if your opinion differs...consider it none of my business)

6.  I am a good listener.

7.  I am a good soccer coach to Jay.

8.  I can be a really fun mom.

9.  I am good at being organized.

10.  I am a very hard worker.

 

PHEW!!!!  So there it is, folks!  I have said it.  I like to be me!  Thank God it only took me 38 years to say/type it for all the world to see.  I hope to be a good example for my children from this day on.  I hope that this exercise will make it easier for me to show my kids how to be proud of who I am. I think this is something that everyone should do.  On EVERY birthday!  It's good for you.  It's actually great for you. 

 

And so I say to you...I am NOT there yet.  But after a bunch of wrong turns, I am back on the right road!