The longest minute EVER!!
Another one of my favorite pictures EVER...I have this photo on my refrigerator. It is amazing to me that one split second can tell so many stories. The first story begins at 11:32 AM on August 8, 2011 when our sweet Wills entered this world. When we went to the hospital that morning, we thought because this was the third time around we pretty much could handle it on our own...except, of course, for the whole epidural thing. Don't hate me, but my first two deliveries took me about an hour and 5 pushes total...for both! So you can imagine I felt like number three would be a breeze.
And it was a breeze...in fact, my doctor almost missed it! My mom almost missed it! In hindsight, I wish my mom had...instead, she walked off the elevator and towards our room as a rush of nurses passed her responding to the subtle alarm sounding from the nurses station. I remember seeing her panicked face as she watched them enter MY room. Suddenly MY room was filled with nurses and noise. It happened so fast. In just one minute. In an instant, I gave birth to my sweet baby William. He took a long, wonderful, loud gasp...and then....NOTHING!
The longest minute EVER..in that single minute I experienced joy, fear, confusion, disbelief, panic, disbelief, confusion....WHAT IS HAPPENING? What are all these people doing in here? My doctor says he looks good. She says he just didn't transition well. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Why can't I hold him? Why can't I see him? Why can't I hear him? What is going on? Who are all these people? My vision narrows to a small, dark tunnel...it is hard to catch my breath. I feel numb....
11:33 AM: I heard the most glorious screech from my sweet baby Wills! At last, I catch my breath! My vision clears. My heart is pounding. My mind is reeling. My tears stream down my cheeks. After a minute that felt like a lifetime, I could finally hold my William! And in an instant, the longest minute EVER had passed...And click...a picture's worth a thousand words...
After things calmed down, we learned that Wills may have skipped a few important steps in his fast and furious entrance into this world...most importantly the one where the contractions clear his airway. After all was said and done, Wills would be ok but to be sure he needed a quick 4 hour stay in the NICU for observation.
I know that my doctor explained things to me at the time, but I can't say that I was able to absorb much. It was later, although I can't say how much later, that my sweet nurse - the original one (before all of the drama) came to check on me and I really found out what went down. Mine was a routine induction and delivery. I have babies fast, but they knew that. This was the third time around. But this time, "he didn't transition well". It turns out they "coded him"...Code Red. Code Blue..hell, I don't know the color, but I know it means he wasn't OK! He was in trouble! He wasn't breathing! But he is now!!! Thank GOD!
So how does this one picture/story tell so many stories? Well, this picture tells the story of the longest minute ever, but it also tells many more!
To my daughter, Parker, who always asks me if I am sad in that picture, I say no! This is a story of happy tears. This is a picture of the moment that I got to hold our sweet Wills for the first time! I have happy tears. This is the story of JOY!
When I look at that picture and think of Michael, I remember feeling like I couldn't go through this with anyone else...He said the right thing. He held my hand. He gave me strength and comfort. He told me we would be ok! This is the story of LOVE and SUPPORT!
When I look at this picture, I think of my mom. I realize that as MY mom, she experienced all of the feelings that I experienced for Wills, while at the same time worrying for me. At that time she didn't know who was in trouble. We both experienced the fear of losing our baby in that long minute. After such a close encounter, we erupted with RELIEF!
I guess I could really go on and on. But the most important story that this picture tells is one of BLESSINGS! As I checked into that hospital, I took for granted that I would deliver and leave with a healthy child in 3 days or less. I am so BLESSED that I did!
Each day I try to count each blessing rather than count on them. I strive to be deserving of them instead of feeling as though I deserve them. And that, my friends, is why I keep this photo on my refrigerator! And for each of you, I hope you count each blessing and strive to be deserving of them. I hope that you have a photo to hang on your frig that will tell you stories of JOY, LOVE, SUPPORT, RELIEF and most of all BLESSINGS.
Today, I may be on the right path...but if you ask me, "Are we there yet?"...I'll have to say, "not just yet".
And it was a breeze...in fact, my doctor almost missed it! My mom almost missed it! In hindsight, I wish my mom had...instead, she walked off the elevator and towards our room as a rush of nurses passed her responding to the subtle alarm sounding from the nurses station. I remember seeing her panicked face as she watched them enter MY room. Suddenly MY room was filled with nurses and noise. It happened so fast. In just one minute. In an instant, I gave birth to my sweet baby William. He took a long, wonderful, loud gasp...and then....NOTHING!
The longest minute EVER..in that single minute I experienced joy, fear, confusion, disbelief, panic, disbelief, confusion....WHAT IS HAPPENING? What are all these people doing in here? My doctor says he looks good. She says he just didn't transition well. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Why can't I hold him? Why can't I see him? Why can't I hear him? What is going on? Who are all these people? My vision narrows to a small, dark tunnel...it is hard to catch my breath. I feel numb....
11:33 AM: I heard the most glorious screech from my sweet baby Wills! At last, I catch my breath! My vision clears. My heart is pounding. My mind is reeling. My tears stream down my cheeks. After a minute that felt like a lifetime, I could finally hold my William! And in an instant, the longest minute EVER had passed...And click...a picture's worth a thousand words...
After things calmed down, we learned that Wills may have skipped a few important steps in his fast and furious entrance into this world...most importantly the one where the contractions clear his airway. After all was said and done, Wills would be ok but to be sure he needed a quick 4 hour stay in the NICU for observation.
I know that my doctor explained things to me at the time, but I can't say that I was able to absorb much. It was later, although I can't say how much later, that my sweet nurse - the original one (before all of the drama) came to check on me and I really found out what went down. Mine was a routine induction and delivery. I have babies fast, but they knew that. This was the third time around. But this time, "he didn't transition well". It turns out they "coded him"...Code Red. Code Blue..hell, I don't know the color, but I know it means he wasn't OK! He was in trouble! He wasn't breathing! But he is now!!! Thank GOD!
So how does this one picture/story tell so many stories? Well, this picture tells the story of the longest minute ever, but it also tells many more!
To my daughter, Parker, who always asks me if I am sad in that picture, I say no! This is a story of happy tears. This is a picture of the moment that I got to hold our sweet Wills for the first time! I have happy tears. This is the story of JOY!
When I look at that picture and think of Michael, I remember feeling like I couldn't go through this with anyone else...He said the right thing. He held my hand. He gave me strength and comfort. He told me we would be ok! This is the story of LOVE and SUPPORT!
When I look at this picture, I think of my mom. I realize that as MY mom, she experienced all of the feelings that I experienced for Wills, while at the same time worrying for me. At that time she didn't know who was in trouble. We both experienced the fear of losing our baby in that long minute. After such a close encounter, we erupted with RELIEF!
I guess I could really go on and on. But the most important story that this picture tells is one of BLESSINGS! As I checked into that hospital, I took for granted that I would deliver and leave with a healthy child in 3 days or less. I am so BLESSED that I did!
Each day I try to count each blessing rather than count on them. I strive to be deserving of them instead of feeling as though I deserve them. And that, my friends, is why I keep this photo on my refrigerator! And for each of you, I hope you count each blessing and strive to be deserving of them. I hope that you have a photo to hang on your frig that will tell you stories of JOY, LOVE, SUPPORT, RELIEF and most of all BLESSINGS.
Today, I may be on the right path...but if you ask me, "Are we there yet?"...I'll have to say, "not just yet".
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