Calling all Supermoms (and Superwomen)!
After spending an ENTIRE week of my stay-cation enjoying my family, organizing, doing coaching work and trying to find peace and order in my life, I have decided it was time again to write a post on my blog. It has been since May, I think, since I last wrote. There have been many blog worthy experiences, but not many blog writing hours available. So here I sit, at 4:30 on Friday afternoon. The final hour of my week off stares me in the face and asks, "What will you do with me?" So I open my laptop, try 3 times to remember my blog password, remember it, and begin typing.
Friday is trash day at our house, and Wills LOVES the trash men! When I say LOVES them, I mean LOVES THEM! He will wake from a dead sleep to the sound of the squeaking breaks of the "trashmina" as he calls them and I have to grab him and rush to get on the front porch/front yard so he can wave at them and squeal with delight. I like to think his enthusiasm for them and their truck wins them over for I know the six years of dirty diapers (and still counting) can't have made us a route favorite otherwise!
So we had our regular Friday morning fun and in we went to change him out of his pjs and into his clothes for the day. For some reason, I noticed he was wearing a pair of Superman pajama pants...ones that Jay had worn many times before him. But all day today, I have been thinking about those stinkin' pants. I'm not much of a comic book fan and my knowledge of Super Heroes is from what I learned watching Super Friends over 20 years ago so forgive me if I an off on some of these facts, but I have to say...I think us Super Moms and Super Women are doing it ALL WRONG.
If I recall correctly, 90% of the time, Superman is a regular guy named Clark Kent, and Spiderman is kind of a nerdy guy but I can't remember his name or what he does for a living. But from what I remember, neither of them do much unless they transformed into Superman or Spidey. So all day I have been thinking about this...and suddenly I realized the real reason that they can do such extraordinary things, feel great, and then go back to their same old same old and never miss a beat. It's because Superman can take off his cape. And Spidey takes off his leotard or whatever it is he wears and they go back to being AVERAGE! We would think the story line was crazy if they were to sustain that level of action and energy the whole time. So why is it that we expect to be SUPER all of the time?
No really, I am seriously asking this question because I want to know what makes us believe that we have to operate at such unsustainable levels when even the guys in the movies who really do have "super powers" cannot do it. So I ask again why do we expect to be super all of the time? And why do we put more pressure on ourselves than others?
As I thought about this idea throughout the day, I realized that I am as guilty as the next. I have spent a large part of this year working toward my certification in professional and personal coaching and I talk with other coaches and clients about living a balanced life, yet I do not walk the talk. I spend my mornings getting everyone off to school, my days working in our family business, my evenings with my family, and my nights coaching. When I wake up, I put on my cape hoping that it is at least right side out (unless there is still a stain on it from the last time I could take it off long enough to wash and dry it...and if that is the case, well then it's probably better inside out) and then I'm off. I can almost hear the song, "Here I come to save the day!" After a full day of work, wiping booties and boogies, coaching soccer, and planning the next birthday party, I untie my cape and crumple it up in a little ball on the side of the bed because I know I will need it again tomorrow.
So what is the alternative, you ask? Well as a coach, I will ask you that same question because my answers are not your answers; what works for me may not be right for you. And then I will ask you a bunch more questions until we have a great plan. After asking myself those same questions, I have come up with this...more doesn't mean better and neither does bigger. I will also try hard to remember that it is ok to say "no" once in a while. It doesn't mean that you are weak or not willing to help; it means that you are human and know it. I am going to make conscious choices about what things I want to be SUPER at and those that I don't. I am going to choose to be there for the things that my kids love, dance with my husband, and grab Wills every Tuesday and Friday to be sure he can wave at the trashmina. And oh yeah, I'm for sure gonna ditch that stupid cape! I am sure that those villains can find a new Super Person to bother...someone who doesn't yet know how to say NO!
